I hope you are all enjoying/surviving the school holidays and I have my fingers crossed for some drier weather for the rest of the week! A few parents have been saying to me lately that their kids (both young and teenagers) seem to be "over" this year already. It’s an interesting observation when South Australia has had a relatively unaffected year compared to other areas. It just goes to show how much the collective fear and anxiety affects children.
One of the most important things we can do to help the children around us is being in a grounded state. Children have an uncanny knack of picking up on our state/energy field. We can be acting all cool, calm and collected on the outside, but if we feel anxious on the inside they’ll feel it too. The good old duck analogy works well here - we think that kids only notice the part of the duck on top of the water, serenely floating around. While underneath we are kicking away madly so we're not dragged downstream by the current (i.e. to do list, exhaustion, overwhelm…). Kids FEEL the water - they feel the turbulence from our kicking, they know when we’re not calm no matter what we say.
Great, thanks Carla, now I feel even more stressed! I know it kind of sucks but… on the flip side it’s also great because we can change our state once we’re aware. So in a way our kids behaviour can act as a little warning light for us to check in with our state. Many of you will have tools and techniques we’ve discussed in clinic but as a brief reminder here are some ways to change your state quite quickly:
tree roots visualisation
Ezi-calm
F/O holding (front and back of head)
breathing techniques
using the five senses - 5 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, 3 things I can feel, 2 things I can smell, 1 thing I can taste
focus on something you feel truly grateful for
safe place visualisation
mantras or affirmations
Yoga Nidra / guided relaxation
patting or playing with your dog/pet
exercise
music that makes you feel good
essential oils
Australian Bush Flower Essences - scroll down for the new kids range!
What I’ve found is the more I practice the techniques, the quicker I can do them when I really need them and therefore the quicker the change of state. It’s just finding what works for you and what is easy to use in the moment, when your child is in the midst of a tantrum. These techniques won’t make your children suddenly behave like angels. Sorry I don't have a remedy for that...although scroll down for the new Bush Flower essence - Toddler Tamer! However the techniques will help us as the adults stay more grounded and that will help the kids come out of their tantrum quicker.
Don’t worry, it’s not all on you. There is a new kids range of Australian Bush Flowers that can be your trusty sidekick!
The descriptions pretty much speak for themselves! You can buy them direct from www.ausflowers.com.au or I’m going to do an order on Thursday morning so let me know before then if you’d like any.
Happy (grounded) school holidaying!
Carla :)
P.S. Want to re-read a previous email but have deleted it? (accidentally of course!) Not to fear - all previous emails are available on the website blog or facebook.
