Father's Day is just around the corner (Sunday 5th September just incase you'd forgotten!) so this email is for all the men out there who play any kind of father role - it could be father, grandfather, uncle, mentor, teacher or sports coach.
Experience in clinic with families has shown me that there are many fathers (and mothers) who struggle with adapting and finding the best approach for parenting their children. They have often come from an upbringing where feelings were not acknowledged and were encouraged to be suppressed - the "stop crying and get on with it" approach or "toughen up cupcake" as my niece said when she was all of 5yrs old! They have mastered this technique and don't get me wrong, this is an important skill to have because sometimes we do just have to get on with it in the moment*. However, we are now in a generation where we are encouraging children to feel their feelings and learn to work with them rather than ignoring them. We realise that suppression of feelings leads to other issues so we want to teach our children how to navigate the world of feelings. Essentially we are trying to teach our children something we may not know how to do ourselves yet. Tricky. Uncomfortable. Exhausting.
Something that may help you or the men in your life become the male role model they want to be is the Australian Bush Flower Essence - Men's Essence.
Men's Essence is a combination essence containing:
Black-eyed Susan - helps with busyness, irritability, impatience, always on the go, over-committed, constant striving.
Bluebell - opening the heart, connecting with feelings and being able to express them.
Boab - helps to release old male stereotypes that are no longer serving us. Clears negative family patterns that are passed on from generation to generation by accessing and clearing the core patterns and related beliefs.
Flannel Flower - helps men feel comfortable with physical and emotional intimacy which helps them be more open with their own feelings and more comfortable listening to others' feelings. Encourages one to be more physically active which is so important for men to help release the build up of stress chemicals in the body.
Little Flannel Flower - brings about a greater sense of fun and playfulness - something that men can feel quite self-conscious about. Also brings out and enhances one's sense of humour - very good for those who regard life as overly serious or grim.
Red Helmet Orchid - a crucial remedy for working on the bond between a man and his father (even if the father has passed away) as well as the bond between him and his children. It helps with prioritising family time and where there is a longstanding rebelliousness attitude towards authority figures.
Sturt Desert Pea - helps to release sadness, anger and grief including deep hurts that have been stored for many years. Great for people who have difficulty crying to release pain.
Yellow Cowslip Orchid - helps to balance overly critical or judgemental tendencies to bring about family harmony.
Hmm, I was going to make the obvious joke about hubby needing some but after revisiting all of the individual essences I think I need it more than him!
The great news is the ausflowers website has free shipping and no minimum order at the moment.
* "getting on with it" in the moment is really important sometimes - it's often not appropriate to have a meltdown in the middle of a work meeting! BUT, and it's a big but, we need to make time later to review the situation that triggered the feeling in us, nut it out to get to the core issue, and decide whether any action needs to be taken or what we can do to minimise that situation triggering us again in the future e.g. reframing our perception. Obviously seeking professional help when needed.
Happy celebrating the wonderful men in our lives,
P.S. For all the visual people, here are the amazing flowers in bloom:
Top row left to right: Black-eyed Susan, Bluebell, Boab
Middle row left to right: Flannel Flower, Little Flannel Flower, Red Helmet Orchid
Bottom row left to right: Sturt Desert Pea, Yellow Cowslip Orchid